Last time I was at the movies, I saw a preview for About Schmidt with Jack Nicholson. I kept it in mind over the past few weeks, and kept meaning to see it. There was some really strange appeal that drew me to it. I think it was the whole protagonist-who's-a-misanthropist vibe.

So last night I looked up the show times and made it for a 10:00 show. I drove down to Harvard Square, driving in circles until I found both the theatre and a near by parking lot. $16 total for parking that night ($8/hour, but gee..."no more than $16"!). $8.75 for the ticket. About 40 minutes to show time. I was hoping for more time, since I still had to eat. Harvard Square sure has plenty of fancy places to eat. So I walked into one place. Same old story: wait by the empty podium until an overly-cheerful guy comes over, and I tell him twice "ONE for dinner". I sit in a booth so far away that it makes me question if a waitress will see me. Mr. HappyMenuGuy shows me a drink menu that I'm not going to order from. (Though in all fairness, the menu was cleverly made to look like a giant matchbook.) I check my wristwatch as the minute hand moves from the 5 towards the 6. If nobody comes by 9:30, then fuck it, I'll eat somewhere else before the movie starts.

Just as I'm about to leave, a waitress comes over, seeing me check my watch, and appologizes. "Have you ever been here to Fire & Ice?" "No." "Well I'll show you around in a minute [BLAH BLAH BLAH] take your drink order first." "I just want a Coke." "[BLAH BLAH BLAH] So this is your first time here?" "Yes." "Well come over here and I'll show you what we have." She then walked over to the other side of the room, which looked like an expanded salad bar/cafeteria entree. And then she explained every little thing there. "Any dietary requirements?" "No." "Are you a vegetarian?" "No." "There's calamari and chicken and [BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH]. If you want a hamburger, just take a patty here and bring it to the grill and [BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH] pick a sauce over here they're all labeled the milds have the blue signs and the hots have the red signs and the pinapple terriaki is a good choice and [BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH ] all $16.95 [BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH]." She handed me a bowl from the stack. I handed it back to her. "You know, I changed my mind. I don't want to eat here tonight." I started to walk back to my table. "Too complicated?" she rhetorically asked, with a attemptedly-disguised, intelligence-insulting smirk. "No I...I just don't have time for this tonight. I have to be somewhere later."

Man, my head was fucking swimming by the time I got to Harvard anyway. I just wanted to sit the fuck down, pick out a pre-conceived entree with a name from a menu handed to me, then just sit back and wait for the thing to arrive. Sure I'm all up for thinking and creativity -- that's what I do right after I order a meal, when I'm sitting alone at the table with my Coke and my pen and paper. If I wanted to make something, I'd eat at home. It's Monday, and I'm already burned out. Be a good waitperson and wait on me.

So on my way out I catch a sign at the bar, "Burger and Fries @ The Bar!". I hesitate for a moment as I head towards the exit. Maybe this could work. I sit at the bar and order a Coke, and a burger-n-fries. I point to sign as I repeat it to the bartender. I get my Coke. I move to the left side of the smokers, since their smoke was blowing over towards me. The bartended finds my new location, and first gives me a bowl of fries. Some time later I get the burger. And a damn good burger it was. I enjoy a damn good burger once in a while. In fact, since I never eat burgers-n-fries on a daily basis, I think I come to appreciate it more. See how simple great food can be? No bowl or 16 different sauce choices necessary. I watch the electric clock on the cable box directly in front of me as I finish my meal, put down $12, and leave.

Off to the flix. I spend my remaining $3 on a giant box of Goobers. The guys behind the counter look a little younger than me, with long hair and some goatee variant. The one not waiting on me is filling up a 2-Liter soda bottle with root beer from the fountain. Well what can I say, I'm guilty of taking a pen or two from work myself.

I get inside as the last few previews finish. 4 bubbly ladies sitting in the front of the middle section. One other lady sitting alone, maybe in her 50s. Heh, I'm amused by the reminder that I'm NOT the only american who doesn't feel the need for a movie chaperone. But the movie starts. And the 4 ladies in front are still giggling and talking. I contemplate giving them a "Shh!", and the older woman beats me to it with no inhibition. The ladies give one last nervous giggle at the "Shh!" before shutting up, perhaps thinking it's strange that they're "only" disturbing 2 other people. But to that lady who have them the "Shh!", I think, "Thank you very much, ma'am!" The fact I was the only male who showed up passed through my mind, but whatever.

So yeah, the movie. Some very funny scenes. Not sappy though. In fact, it sort of exposed some of that annoying type of wholesomeness you see in self-deceiving, back-stabbing schmucks across this country. Also the over-glorification of mediocrity (one really funny scene is when Schmidt is looking at the collection of prize ribbons in his future son-in-law's bed room, which all say "participant". They hang underneath a framed certicificate noting the completion of some 2-week course.) Great disillusionment themes. Over all, I think it showed that there are people who base their lives on their career or the fact that they raised a family, but looking back on it, realize that they didn't really do anything that significant in the grand scheme of things. I've heard the theme of job promotions or money being "not everything", but it was really refreshing to see the same regarding having a family too.

Well, off to lunch...