This is part two. Click here to read part 1

Actually, I can be even more specific than the jacket. It was the patch. The giant patch on the back. I saw those in the stores, and I wanted to get one. I asked my mom if I could get a patch on my jacket, and she said "sure". I had the whole thing mapped out in my head: one big Iron Maiden back patch in the middle, and some of the little patches along the top and bottom of that, for those other bands I liked.

Of course it wasn't that simple. When I went to the local T-shirt store at the mall with my mom, I showed her the patch I wanted. It was then made clear that she completely misunderstood me (or, that I wasn't clear enough -- take your pick). When I said I wanted a patch that goes on the back of my jacket, she figured it was probably no bigger than a 3"x5" index card. Not so.

And now the debating and barganing ensued. I think we spent about an hour before we made an absolute final purchase. Maybe it was only half an hour, but trying to remember 14-15 years back here...yes, it was definitely a long time at that store. Anyway she was shocked. She stated the same argument countless times: it's the kind of thing you see on bikers. And after countless debating and bickering, I finally ended up with the one I wanted: the cover to Iron Maiden's "Sactuary" single.

And just as we stepped out of the store, about to turn left out the mall doors and head to the car, my mom suddenly flipped out again. "No, no! He's knifing a woman!" [Another one of those arguments repeated 50x...damn, I'm sure glad I didn't pick up my debating skills from my mom!] We turned around and went back into the store to return it. Debating picked up AGAIN. And the end result this time was the exchange for a different Iron Maiden patch - the "Killers" album cover. Besides the main picture of Eddie (that's their mascott's name) in the middle, off to one side in small white lettering was the grafitti-looking name "KILLERS".

So FINALLY we were on our way back home. I had NO idea this was going to be such a big ordeal. You know: friend X, Y, and Z all have those back patches, so why can't I? I wasn't asking for an earing, tattoo, BB gun, or even sip of alcohol. By the way: my mom, through all those years, refused to sew anything on to my jacket. "If you want it on there, you have to do it yourself!" No problem. I learned how to sew in HomeEc class, and I can honestly say I did a decent job on this jacket. Anyway, the Killers patch was on the jacket, the jacket was on the coat rack, and my brother and father came home. My brother's reaction was along the lines of "Oh, this must be the patch he got today." My dad was, of course, pissed off. The patch stayed on for a few more days, until I was given an ultimatum: take a black magic marker to write over the word "Killers" (which was on a black background), or...return the patch. The word "Killers" written like that was just too much for them.

Back to the store. Luckily for my mom, they took the exchange, even though they normally wouldn't. So then I wound up with my THIRD choice: the single cover to Iron Maiden's "The Trooper" single (damn, it's a good thing my favorite band had so many options). The background was a blueish color, and my mom tried patronizing me with the line "There, and it matches your jacket." THIS was the patch I ended up with.

So the compromise worked out, and everybody's happy, right? Wrong! That patch and jacket became the total fasincation and center of my parents' disgust. The source of constant fights. How did the fights start? Very simple. I'd put on the jacket before going out somewhere. One or both of my parents would give an insulted, disgusting sigh and whine "You're NOT wearing the jacket!" And things would escalate from there.

Keep in mind also that this was all in the days of the "Satanic Panic". This was when everybody was reinforcing the idea that listening to heavy metal, not to mention playing D&D or buying a quartz crystal or wearing a fucking earring, was ultimately connected into some type of human-sacrificing devil-worshipping cults. "Ritual abuse victims" were on talk shows all the time. And like many american baby boomers who watch american news every night, my parents bought most of that bullshit. (Even though the FBI was never able to prove a single claim of these underground cults or find any of the literal millions of bodies, but I digress.) So I'm sure some of that fear coming from my parents was related.

At some point, a year or so later, the Iron Maiden patch was taken off and replaced by a 1/2 sized Led Zeppelin patch. Part of that had to do with my change in favorite bands at the time, but I know there was more to it. Honestly, I can't remember if there was anything specific. I'm not so sure it was my "giving in" to my parents' wishes after hearing them bitch and bitch and bitch at me for over a year every time I left the house. But maybe that was part of it. I do still have the Iron Maiden patch, but the jacket that hangs in my closet to day sports the Led Zeppelin one. Along with all 3 or 4 of the little patches above and below.

On to part 3...