April 04, 2002
12:46 PM

Dinner For One


I do not understand this absolute requirement some people seem to have for human companionship. I'm not talking about concepts like having friends, lovers, socializing, and stuff like that. No, I mean activities like dining, seeing a movie, or going to a concert. Why do so many refuse to do these things alone?

I eat dinner out rather frequently. And I almost always do so alone. "How many?" "Just one for dinner." "One?" "Just one." It's pretty simple: I'm hungry, I have the money, I go out to enjoy a great meal. Why would I need somebody else at my table to do that? It's called eating, folks. You don't need a second separate digestive system to do it. Might want to bring a book for when you're waiting for the meal, but that's about it.

It's not too different with movies. If there's a movie I want to see, I go see it. Simple. I'm paying to see something that I want to give my undivided attention to for 2 hours. What is the point of having somebody sit next to me who I'm essentially not going to pay any attention to? If I have a friend or a date who wants to see the same movie I want to see, fine. I have no problem arranging that. We can hang out and shoot the shit before and after. But if there's a movie I'd like to see, I don't pick up my address book and scramble to find somebody. Even if I do ask around, and nobody else wants to go, fuck it. I'll go by myself.

I've even gone to plenty of concerts alone. I've practically vowed to always do so at this point, with all the times I've bought tickets for other people, only to have them call at the last minute and say that they couldn't go, or would never pay me back. In February I saw Judas Priest and Anthrax. I bought 2 extra tickets, and the 2 schmucks bailed out on me. Though if anything, having an empty seat on either side of me in the old sweaty packed arena made the experience more enjoyable. In high school, a friend of mine wanted me to go to Boston to see the Mighty Mighty Bostones with him. I didn't particularly like them enough to drive into town to see them, so I declined. He was mad that he couldn't find somebody else to go. I asked why, if he liked this band so much, he couldn't go alone. He couldn't give me much of an answer.

On one of these nights that I'm dining alone, I'm sure some waitress or pea-brained jackoff will see me and ask "You're eatin' alone? Why?" And I'll look them right in the eye and tell them: "I'm not so insecure with myself that I need a chaparone to eat. And you?"

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