Sunstargirl, another Diaryland.com user, wrote me a very supportive note in my public "notes" section. She brings up some excellent points, so I'd like to make a diary entry here with my comments.

>>Man! I feel for you. This is a tough spot to be in. I've been in your
>>situation before and it was horrible. I want to tell you that you are doing
>>the right thing by ending it with her now though. This kind of religious
>>difference will not work in the long term, as you are already seeing
>>because it's not even working for a month between you two.
>>
>>I find it interesting that she asked you if you've ever broken up with
>>someone for religious differences before because, at least from the way
>>you write it, it seems like SHE is the one who has religion issues with
>>YOU, not the other way around. Who keeps bringing it up? It sounds like
>>she keeps bringing it up - so SHE'S the one who can't handle the
>>religious difference.

That pretty much sums it up. For the record, I'm not saying that she was the intolerant one, and that I'm somehow a wiser person for being "more accepting". But I could spend a weekend in an apartment decorated with countless angel statues and other knick-knacks. I always suspected that she couldn't do the same in mine!

>>I think religious compatability is very important in a relationship
>>because you need be on the same page about what beliefs and traditions you
>>want to teach your kids, etc.

That was her big fear, that she kept bringing up: the idea of our hypothetical future child seeing a devil on TV or asking the father who this "Devil" character was, and getting an answer from me where I "say that he's good". First of all, it's an over-simplification to say "I believe Satan is the force of good". I see Satan as a useful human creation for certain archetypes I relate to (pride, independence, skepticism, the voice of dissent, indulgence, self-responsibility, etc.) It's still not an identity crisis for me to watch a movie like "The Devil's Advocate".

Second of all, if a child was watching a devil cartoon and asked me about the character, I'd explain things within the context of the show, and hopefully he or she would know to place devils in the same category as fairies and elves: beings that are mythical (a concept that he or she would grow to realize better with age), but still make for fun imagery.

I really have to wonder if she expects the exact opposite to happen, where a child is told that the little red guy on a can of Underwood brand Deviled Ham is "the ultimate being of evil, and the father of lies...here, have a sandwich!" Do Christian parents have a crisis of faith when they bring home a box of Devil Dogs? Please. It's just more proof that "devils" in our culture already represent more archetypes than mere "evil".

Regardless, if I had children, I wouldn't "raise" them as Satanists. First of all it's pretty much part of our dogma that you can't force the religion on somebody or even force it on yourself; we say you have to feel it naturally resonates with you and what you already believe. In fact I wouldn't force any particular religion on a child, period. I went through that myself and I don't think it's right to force them into an ideology and say "You are a [insert parents' religion here]." I would, however, raise them so that they wouldn't lose their enjoyment of life, nor their curious and inquisitive nature. I'd teach them good principles of responsibility, keep their mind open to science and other learning, and wouldn't answer questions with "because I said so". And when they were old enough to look into religion on their own, I'd let them.

>>Religion is in many ways a philosophy, especially an atheistic
>>religion like Satanism. If you don't share a similar life philosophy with
>>your partner, then it makes it very hard to see eye to eye on a huge
>>range of issues expanding way beyond just religion itself because you
>>interpret your reality/world in completely different ways.

THIS is a very good point. When it's come to religious differences I've had with past girlfriends, the philosophical aspects were much more important than any dogmatic or metaphysical notions. I've dated plenty of people who truly believed in deities, afterlives, ghosts, spirits and what not, and I honestly didn't care what they channeled or bowed to when I wasn't around. In these cases we knew we were moralistically compatible because you'd never hear either of us tell the other "Hey, why did you just do that thing? That's wrong!"

>>However, even my current boyfriend and I go at it sometimes and it
>>reminds us that Agnosticism is still different from Atheism - he thinks
>>I'm closeminded and I think he's indecisive, hahaha.

Well, that still seems like a far cry from dating that Baptist guy who believed your "soul" was in danger!

>>I'm not saying that you should only date Satanists,

I'd be pretty lonely if that was my only option! Because one thing I have to accept is that I'm part of a very small minority. Of course, it goes without saying that just because two people have the same religion is no guarentee that they'll get along too.

>>but I do think that people who believe in a "higher power" are bad
>>choices in compatability for you since your beliefs are that you are
>>your own god and you control your own fate/destiny.

Well again, dating Theists hasn't been a problem for me. They were people who "believed in a higher power", but not a power that could somehow be in control of ME throughout the day. I think the commonality we most strongly shared is that we viewed our respective religions as a personal journey and tool, not a cause.

Ideally it would seem that I'd get along better with atheists, but even then it depends. One could be, for example, an atheist and a guilt-tripping altruist, or atheist and a fanatical anti-materialist, or an atheist who'd want to take every opportunity to point and laugh at my altar or pentagram necklace and what not. I wouldn't have much patience for those types.

Thanks for your thoughts!