February 01, 2005
6:22 PM

More Thoughts on Candy Bars


I was doing some grocery shopping last night at the local CVS (for those of you not from the region, the CVS chain is a basic convenient/pharmacy place like Walgreen's). And near the front of the store but not underneath the counter with the rest of the candy bards, I saw a presumably new bar, Take 5. I wasn't sure though if this was in the brand new section or a liquidation bin.

A candy bar apparently named for its 5 ingredients: pretzels, caramel, peanuts, peanut butter, and on the outside a coating milk chocolate. Pretzels in a candy bar -- who knew? Wish I had thought of it first. It's one of the best sweet ideas I've heard since Ben & Jerry's put pretzels in one flavor of their ice cream. In case you couldn't tell, I love pretzels, especially with chocolate or some other sweet stuff. In fact, the bar could have even done fine without the peanuts.

Speaking of candy bars, I have never ever understood these people who carry so much guilt and self-loathing over as something as simple as a fucking candy bar. Now I've certainly seen men who do that, but in all honesty here, it's more of a woman thing. I hear it all the time here at work, where there's a basket of chocolate mini-bars a few cubicles away. "Oh, I'm going to hate myself for this..." Then you have the people who jokingly (or maybe just half-jokingly) openly place blame and hate on whoever is offering the candy.

Fucking Christ, how the hell could you get so hung up over a piece of candy? If you don't want it, don't eat it. Even assuming it IS going to be something you think you'll regret later, at least have fun while you're eating. Don't make things twice as worse for yourself by cursing yourself as you eat. If you can't gather enough self-control and need to work out a moral dilemna over something as mundane as a mini Mr. Goodbar, how can you possibly be ready for any real problems that come along?

And on that note, I leave you all with a wonderful link, Candy Bar Math. I got a 100%, by the way.

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