November 04, 2004
12:01 PM

Halloween 2004


Well, there it was: October 31st, 2004. It was fifteen years ago that I started my annual tradition of doing some form of ritual on October 31st every year. And for any of you nit-picky, pot-smoking, pseudo-Buddhists reading this, "ritual" means the same thing as "ceremony" here. And for any pretentious, uncreative dinks who view organized rital as a form of conformity, fuck you: it's fun an effective. Now, where was I?

I still wasn't entire sure where I'd end up going at night, so I at least made sure to have some other form of ritual at home during the day. This time I decided to do something that wasn't so ceremonious, but meaningful and meditative none the less. I filled out my active membership application for the COS. I've been in the organization for at least 7 years, and since then I've been quite "active" doing one thing or another. So it was about time I made it official.

Why hadn't I done this earlier? A few reasons. First and foremost, I just didn't feel a need to. Like most registered members, I joined the COS as a religious affirmation on my part, and registered membership fulfilled those desires for me. Second, I wasn't sure just how active I wanted to be. I didn't see the point in being active if I wasn't going to be a bit more public, and that was too difficult 7 years ago when I was still in college and had stuff at my (Xtian) parents' home. Now that I've long-since finished college and moved away, things are different. And finally, I did start to fill out an active membership application from time to time, but never got around to finishing one. So this time, I wanted to sit down and just write it out until it was all done. I have a habit of working on written pieces forever anyways, always going back to retype and reword. This forced me to give much more shorter answers that seemed more truthful in that they were the words that came to mind first.

So night came, and I grabbed a friend to go to SP's private party. There were 13 others there. My friend sure looked uncomfortable at first, and who'd blame him? Satanists don't spend much time hanging out with assorted Wiccans and Pagans, two groups known on the whole (please reread those last three words) to be the most vocal Satanism-bashers out there. What was I doing there in the first place? Well, I was invited. I accepted SP's initial invitation to hang out last week, and over all I have to say that I like the guy. Despite being a COS member himself, I still think there are some things he doesn't "get", especially when it comes to internal politics. But better he learn these things from somebody like me instead of some nut case with his own "organization".

The group set up a circle. A lot of it seemed to be improvised, but done extremely well. These were definitely folks who've worked together before. Nothing sucks more than an ill-prepared ritual. SP even wanted me to do a reading part. "Something to represent the indulgent and carnal side." Philosophically speaking, that's basically the only side I believe to exist, but whatever. I do ritual for the mere psychodrama of it all, so there wasn't really anything I in this ritual that I found objectable. Good ol' Book of Satan IV seemed like it would work.

While standing in line outside, I realized that it was too dark to be able to read the book. So I picked up one of the smaller Jack-o-Lanterns outside. The carved face was aptly described as my friend as "Playmobil looking". I thought of switching to the next Jack-o-Lantern in the line, but it had ants inside! Oh well, the small one served well. I just turned the silly face towards me so that nobody could see it. We lined up to enter the circle one by one with the "Better you die on this blade than enter the circle with fear" shtick. There was a main Jack-o-Lantern in the middle of the circle, which was worked into the ritual. SP made references to the deity it was allegedly based on. To make the most of it for myself, I took it to represent the personified fun of Halloween, and the "trickster devil" archetype, who I would say I symbolically invoke every week in my project.

All in all, a great Halloween.

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