Here's another subject I have some rants for: gifts.

I'm not talking about giving things to strangers. I am not a philanthropist, and I have no shame in saying that. I do, however, believe in giving good gifts for the friends and family that I know and care about.

I have been told by several people that I'm a good gift-giver. The main guideline I use is one that I learned from a friend of mine several years ago: you want to give this person something that they'd like, but would never get around to buying for themselves.

So I try my best to avoid things like sticking a $20 bill in a birthday card, or resorting to gift certificates. But even if it really comes down to that, I still try including at least one small, tangible gift. There are plenty of neat novelty items in stores like Spencer Gifts or hipper looking CD stores that seem like toys, but aren't for kids. You know the kind of fun stuff I mean.

Now I said I "try my best", because I admit there are some people who seem impossible to shop for. A lot of family members and I always had some problems trying to get gifts for my dad, "the man who has everything". Actually, it was more like "the man who's additionally always working and seems to have no hobbies". He wanted The Godfather trilogy on VHS. So I got it for him. He watched the tapes of the first two movies once (never watched the 3rd), and that was months and months after getting the gift, after we kept reminding him, AND on a day where there was a blizzard and we were snowed in. Several years ago I got him his favorite movie on DVD; he hasn't watched it yet (even though there's a DVD drive on his computer in his home office and a DVD player in the living room -- the two places he's at most often when he's not at his work office). My brother got him the box set of one of his favorite bands, and it sat unopened on his desk under a pile of folders for at least 1/2 a year. He also bought him a modelling kit to help him mellow out and get away from work for once. That box is still in that same pile of manila file folders.

So, without resorting to gift certificates and taking a gamble on buying clothes that he might not like...what do you give "the man too busy to get around to doing recreational stuff"? I looked for gifts that could be "set up" right on the spot. I went to Brookstone and bought things like magnetic insoles, a hot lather shaving cream dispenser, and a little electric desk fan. I talked him into putting the insoles in his shoes right away, before the package got added to the pile. All done! They do all the work themselves from that point. The shaving cream dispenser was a device that you simply shoved a regular can of shaving cream into and plugged into the wall. I made him set that up immediately in the bathroom. Ta-da! Next. As for the fan...well, he actually had no problem finding motivation for using that in the stuffy hot summer. These were all 60-second jobs, but so was taking the CDs of that box and putting them in his car, which again he didn't do for months.

My allegedly best friend, though, is a shitty gift giver. That's the truth. I'm not just being an ungrateful bastard here. But it really pisses me off, and I have to get this off my chest once and for all. All the gifts he's ever given to me are: two or three occasions of $10 in a card, two occasions of gift certificates, and one other gift that was neither (which I'll get to in a moment). Now I know you might be thinking "it's the thought that counts" but that's exactly my point: some gifts show that the giver obviously didn't put much thought into them! I've known this guy for over 12 years. We have long identified each other as "best friends". I would like to think that he'd know me well enough to get me SOMETHING a little more personal? Just once? Over the course of a decade? Even if it was, I don't know...a random CD I didn't have? Or hell, even a CD that I owned but he thought I didn't? If the guy barely knew me, it would be a different story. But how about something that doesn't fit flat into an envelope? It's not like there's a shortage of items under $10 that fit that description. Come on, after all I've given him, for Yuletides, birthdays, anniversaries, and just little gifts for no particular reason, am I asking for too much here?

Last Yuletide, his wife declared that due to the financial burdens of some of the friends involved, we would be MAKING gifts for each person, which meant a strict rule of not buying something and giving it directly. Sounded like a great creative idea to me! A gift that cost only $5 to make but was made with a lot of thought and just for me, is worth more to me in my opinion, than a $50 gift certificate for the mall. And this time, my friend would be forced to make something personal for me. I was certainly looking forward to this, and had no idea what it could be. As for myself, I bought materials in a craft store, and made the gifts I was going to give. I was even a little late for the party, trying to prepare them all correctly. I receive an amazing drawing related to one of my favorite bands, a hand-made ornament with a poem, and from my best friend and his wife...a store-bought candle making kit. Yes, this is the previously mentioned gift that was neither cash nor a gift certificate. The one tangible gift I ever got from him or his wife, who set the rule that year on not getting anything store-bought. "Yeah, we were going to make you a candle, but we didn't have the time. So there's the kit."

I would have thought it was a start, but my birthday gift last month ended up being one of those two gift certificates I mentioned.