Last Sunday I did something daring. For me, anyway. I ordered an alcoholic drink from a bar.

I've certainly had alcohol before -- a sip of beer, a taste of hard liquor, a tiny cup of wine, some champagne. But I've never been drunk in my entire life. And yes, that statement still holds true. But I've just never been a drinker.

"Why?" they always ask. Well, quite simply, I just never found a valid reason to start. I never liked the taste. The argument of "It's an aquired taste" just begs the question of why I should choose beer over Moxie. I'm also secure enough in my masculinity that I can shamelessly order a Coke at the bar. And certain sights in college were certainly no turn-ons: people passed out on bathroom floors, face down in a pile of their own vommit, or conscious but being an irresponsible smelly pest to everybody else. To some extent I also see drinking as a conformist thing in my life; it's what I'm expected to do. So I'm sure some of the non-conformist in me has helped driven my long decision. Though I think the #1 reason is because I fear loss of self-control. I smoked pot before and I hated it because I couldn't think. I hate not being able to think.

Yet that curiosity has always been with me. It was probably no coincidence that I was reading a book at the bar, "How to think like Leonardo DaVinci", and was reading the chapter on "curiosity". But anyway. I had to admit that not all alcoholic mixes could possibly taste that bad. And the world of spirits does look exciting, with all those drinks of fancy colors and exotic names. I had some idea of what rum tasted like, from certain deserts. So I figured a rum and coke seemed like a right place to start.

"Anything else I can get for you tonight?"

"Uh, yeah. Could I get a Rum & Coke, but just, like, very very light on the rum."

"Sure. Is Captain Morgan's OK?"

"Uh, I guess. This, uh...[smiling] this is going to sound a little crazy, but this is really the first drink I've ever had. I've just never really drank in my life, but I think my curiosity has finally broken through, and -"

"OK, could I just see an ID?"

"Oh sure, sure, sure."

"It's just that when I hear stories like that, it's usually from minors."

"[laughing] Understandable!"

And having worked as a convenience store cashier, where I had to card people for cigarettes, I know what this bartender was talking about. I talked a little more with the bartender, and answered the "why" question. He mentioned that he drinks JD straight. And it turns out that he was in a fraternity as well; in fact it was one that I knew because they had a ours.

So I'm drinking my short drink with the two tiny stirring straws and the lime on the rim. Eh, not bad. And I start shaking. Is this the effect of the alcohol? No, wait a minute. People say they drink to unwind. So it's probably just because I'm nervous as hell.

I drink a little more. Should I be drinking it this fast? Hey, wait a minute, I think I taste Pepsi in this. I'm sure it would taste different if it were Coke. Funny that, unlike when you order a Coke, they don't confirm with "Is Pepsi OK?"

By the time I leave the bar, I really don't feel any different physically. I go to the supermarket across the street to get a few things. I notice that I still have my critical thinking going on, so I must not be buzzed. Though a funny thought crosses my mind -- if, by whatever reason I'd get back into my car and pulled over by a cop for rolling past a stop sign or something, I would for the first time in my life have to answer "yes" to the question of "have you been drinking?"

But before I did leave the bar, the bartender asked me what I thought of the rum & coke. I said "Eh, not bad." I still don't know why these tiny things cost $4.50. I still think a Coke tastes better by itself, and it's a fraction of the price.

No, I don't think I'm about to change my stance of being a non-drinker. But at least I can say that I reconfirmed that after an honest try.

"I only had one drink in my life. At a nightclub. And I spit the thing out." - Miilton Bearle